You know when deadlines are better?

When they're past.

And it is time for a celebratory swim.

Huzzah!

Deadlines suck.

That is all.

Happy New Year everybody.

You know, there are some people who write diaries. Not "STAFF MEETING AT 2PM" diaries but proper, descriptive diaries full of thoughts and ideas and observations that often prove to be witty and cutting and, to paraphrase our good friend Mr Wilde, excellent reading while traveling on the train.

I am not one of these people. My grandmother is one of these people. She was in the New Zealand army during World War II and she kept an immaculate, dramatic, hilarious page-turner of a diary which I have read several times from cover to cover in its original type-writer font with whited-out bits and corrections in black pen. One of my favourite English playwrights, Alan Bennett, writes hilarious diaries, some lines in which are so brilliant I have to read them several times to make the words aware of their impact on my brain. Words know these things, you see.

Anyway, the diary is an interesting form of writing, like the letter. Personal and performative but also somehow private and deprived of context. The reason I don't write a personal diary is because, frankly, I suck at it. All my diary entries when I was a kid started with "sorry I haven't written" (see, the words, they know) and attempted to fit the entire day's goings on into a couple of pages of scribble. It's a shame, really, that this is a form lost to me, but it's also easy. I don't do diaries. Just like I don't do poetry. Best to just put a line through these things sometimes.

This diary, the Standing There Productions Diary, is an exception, because it's cheating. It's actually a blog, if you must know. It's on the internet. There are stories I won't tell here, like the one about the friend of mine who... no, never mind... point is, it's a slightly different concept but you know what I still do?

I have diary guilt. When I don't write here, I am aware of my lack of commitment to reportage. I am conscious of my responsibilities in relation to... what? reporting on the world of emerging production companies in Melbourne? Telling people how hard it is to write without getting distracted by YouTube videos of animals falling asleep? Linking to videos of animals falling asleep so that others may benefiit from my tireless research in this area?

Well for whatever reason, here I am. 2009 and I'm starting anew. I even have new year's resolutions, none of which is remotely interesting but one of which involves working like a trojan (they worked mega hard) in the hopes of getting Standing There Productions producing something new and exciting and extremely lucrative across international markets with ancilliary marketing opportunities that do not in any way indicate that we have sold out or lack any of our original indie credibility, of which, naturally enough, we have oodles.

There is a trip to Sydney next week for Stew and myself, where we shall be meeting the very busy and important Rita Walsh and will also possibly be seeing a few Arts Festival shows with the money our grandmas gave us for Christmas. I wish I was being funny. Oh how I wish.

In other news, I have now seen: Frost/Nixon, Bolt 3D, Australia, and Slumdog Millionaire. I might share my thoughts on these in greater detail once I have actually done some writing, but here is a thumnail:

Frost/Nixon: makes you want to go home and see the original Frost/Nixon tapes.

Bolt 3D: makes you wonder if you're being filmed on Candid Camera wearing dumb glasses and looking like a prize douchebag. Also generates prepared lecture from Stew on 3D being the future of film, which is fascinating if a little baffling (the screen is silver? Something about an optimiser? You what?). Other than that, it's not the best plot in the world, but the characters and voices are good.

Slumdog Millionaire: makes you want to go to India. Highly recommend this one actually, if you like a feel-good huzzah.

Australia: makes you want to move to New Zealand.

That's it for today. Happy new year.

Dear Christmas,

Look.It's great that you're coming to stay, it really is. We always have a great time.

It's just... do you think you could come in January some time?

I am reheeeally snowed under right now. Lemme know.

Love,

L

I haven't written here for a while. A few things have been going on, some great, some terrible, some merely mundane. Life, in other words.

The exciting news, from a Standing There perspective, is that Stew and I are going to fly up meet Rita in Sydney in January, which we've benn planning for a while but now we've found flights that work. Huzzah! I am currently trying to fit the following into what I imagine "flying up for a business meeting" should be like:

- Obviously will need to wear a high-powered suit, preferably with pinstripes

- Should get one of those entire-bathroom-in-a-toiletries-bag concertina things that go flip flop flop flop and suddenly you're standing in the ladies' bathroom at the airport with mirrors and makeup and hair brushes and a massage table and stuff.

- Should probably purchase spectacles in order to peer over them.

- Should practice drinking those cofffees in the tiny cups. What are they called again?

Obviously, given most of the meetings will be between myself, Rita and Stewart, this will not be fooling anybody. Still. Worth a try.

I know I've said it here before but Black Lung really know how to take all that is average in theatre, set fire to it and take a dump in its handbag.

I saw Avast and Avast II: The Welshman Cometh on Friday. They were scary, funny, touching, beautifully acted, and the set made me forget where I was but without rotating painfully in four separate subsections. They were amazing. And Avast wasn't even as good as I remember it being the first time (reviewed, if you can call it that, somewhere in these pages).

I read a bad review of these shows in the newspaper. The review said something about how the shows were both monstrously immature and in fact were really just boys with smelly bedrooms doing Dada mixed with Beckett mixed with Monty Python. Of course, there are elements of truth to this criticism, because it's the sort of criticism that can be levelled at any production involving the sentence That's so gay - that's gayer than the time you said, "Dad, I'm gay", and I have to say, if you can't take Avast and Avast II The Welshman Cometh on their own terms, you've obviously started to enjoy David Williamson plays at the MTC and you should send the younger reviewers (say, the forty-year-olds) along to review the real stuff. Brilliant, bracing and gutsy theatre. I wish they had something on every week so I could send everyone along.

Contrary to some of my less enthusiastic posts, below, may I now join myself in a chorus of joyful thanks in celebration of the wonderful nerdy powers that be: Ladies and Gentlemen... Nick and Stew!

*the crowd goes wild!*

Anyway look I'm excited.
 

Here's the deal: our website is now less likely to explode and die as a result of spam overloading in the comments section. This means people such as your good self can now, once again, post comments. We apologise for the rather one-sided conversation that has been droning on from these pages over the past few weeks. To be honest, I couldn't really do it without you.

Now, when you post comments, you need to prove you're not a robot. It's easy. You just have to believe.

Also, guess what? You know how I said ladies and gentleman Nick and Stew hurrah for them fixing the website and you all went mad with the screaming and the celebrating? Well guess which Nick I'm talking about? That's right! The Nick who helped us shoot our film a billion years ago and who helped us make our website half a billion years ago and who has, in the meantime, been sailing from Europe to America on a boat having previously know nothing about sailing, or boats, or how to speak in an international Kylie Minogue style accent. Now, however, he is devastatingly good at all of these things... and he's in Australia! It is very exciting to see him in real life, and although you still possibly have no idea who he is: this is what I mean when I say heart warming things like "this company is more than just the three of us" and so forth.

Okay so stay with me. So you know that exact same film of ours that Nick worked on that I mentioned like thirty seconds ago? STAY WITH ME. You know that film? Okay so you know the 1st AD on that film? Okay so maybe you don't. You know in that film how there was a guy who made paper aeroplanes? Okay so maybe you don't know that either, but anyway trust me THAT guy, well he's also very talented. His name is Robin, and he plays in a band called the Little Stevies. He also makes brilliant films, one of which was shot by our very own Stewart Thorn and was in the recent Human Rights Arts & Film Festival in Melbourne.

Anyway okay so you know Stew and Robin?

They made this.